Inquisitive and fun-loving Reader: if granted the opportunity to prowl a phantasmagorical underground palace, what would you do first? Would you play hide-and-seek in the armory? Frolic through the painting galleries? Plant your derriere on the throne and issue pretend decrees to invisible courtiers? Or, like Oliver Drybread, would you insist upon touring the castle kitchens?

The Dastardly Deed by Holly Grant